So, what can you do about it? Gut feelings, dilemmas, decisions, we all have them and whether we go with what we feel or what we think logical, creating this inner conflict requires some energy! The first thing is to identify what’s known as the ‘parts’ inside you. Parts are part of the unconscious (aka subconscious) mind that cause a block in our thinking. At times, we act inside a particular part. That’s when you feel you have the answer, you’ve made the decision to do X. You feel a certain way. Then another time, you’ll be inside another part and you’ll unmake the decision and do Y. It’s all very energy-sapping and confusing. Once you identify the deep-seated opposing parts, the root of the conflict, you’re on your way. Take care – we wanted the opposites with the deepest meaning; identifying superficial parts doesn’t work as well.
Our unconscious mind creates parts as a natural process, a little like fragmentation of a computer hard drive. What we need to do is defrag! We take the unwanted part first. Ask yourself, “What is the highest positive intention of this part?” Keep asking yourself that question until you notice a shift – this may be a lightbulb moment or blushing or a relaxation or even just a softening of your thoughts. You may need to write 10-20 words before this happens. Now consider the wanted part, ask the same question, “What is the highest positive intention of this part?” Write down another 10-20 words.
Here’s an example – but I’ve only written 4 words for each!
|Part X – I can’t be who I want to be||Part Y – I can be who I want to be|
|Happiness||Sense of purpose|
Now, we’ll switch them over to integrate the parts to leave you feeling more content. In our example, we would say,
“Can you see that the unwanted part, the part that believes I can’t be who I want to be, has the intention of enthusiasm, confidence, calmness and sense of purpose and that would like to share these intentions to become whole again?”
“Can you see that the wanted part, the part that believes I can be who I want to be, has the intention of success, motivation, challenge and happiness and that would like to share these intentions to become whole again?”
Repeat x 5.
Get a good night’s sleep and see how the world looks after the integration is complete.
This process doesn’t make one part good and the other bad, it simply resolves conflict. It frees up the energy that you use to create an inner argument. And who doesn’t need more energy?!
This is a simplified version of a technique we learn on the NLP Practitioner and Master Practitioner trainings, so we learn about NLP whilst getting rid of all our own conflicts and negative thinking. It’s a training full of learning and laughs. Our next board accredited NLP Practitioner training is 17th-23rd February 2018. See https://www.traceycolenlp.com/home/training-courses/